If you’ve ever felt like your baby is practically glued to you, you’re not alone—welcome to the world of the “velcro baby.”
I wish more parents had been honest with us about the possibility of a Velcro baby when I was pregnant. They told us we would be tired, cranky with each other, and overwhelmed. But it was SO much more than that. Our second son was attached to me for the first six months of his life. I even slept with him tied to me sometimes.
But what is a Velcro baby, you ask?
Velcro babies love to be close, often needing to be held or snuggled constantly. While it can be exhausting, especially when you want a few minutes to yourself, this clinginess is completely normal and something many parents experience. This stage won’t last forever, and it’s an important part of their emotional development. So, while it might be tough, remember that your baby’s clinginess is their way of saying, “I feel safe with you.”
Why Are Some Babies Clingy?
Being your baby’s safe space is all good and well. But that doesn’t mean much when you’ve tried to pee with a baby attached to you!
Some babies are just more clingy than others, and here are some reasons why:
Temperament
Some babies are naturally more sensitive, often making them more prone to clinginess. These babies might be more easily overwhelmed by new environments, loud noises, or even changes in routine. Their heightened sensitivity means they seek constant reassurance from their parents, their safe haven in a world that sometimes feels big and scary. If your baby falls into this category, know that their clinginess is how they cope with their surroundings and find comfort.
Developmental Milestones
Clinginess often spikes during key developmental milestones. As your baby starts learning to crawl, teethe, or walk, they might feel uncertain or uneasy about these big changes. During these times, they turn to you for comfort and security.
It’s their way of saying, “I’m figuring out this new skill, but I still need to know you’re here for me.”
Attachment and Bonding
A clingy baby is often a sign of a strong, secure attachment between you and your child. I know it’s hard, but this bond is essential for their emotional development. When your baby clings to you, it’s because they know you’re their safe place.
Separation Anxiety
Separation anxiety is another common reason for clinginess, particularly around the 6-12 month mark. As babies start to understand that they are separate from their parents, they also realize that you can leave—and that’s when the clinginess can ramp up. During this phase, your baby might cry or become distressed when you leave the room, even for a moment. This anxiety is a normal part of development and typically peaks around one year before gradually fading as they grow older and more independent.
How Long Does the Velcro Baby Stage Last?
The clingy phase often feels like it will last forever, but it usually peaks around 9 to 12 months. During this time, your baby is becoming more aware of the world—and more attached to you—making them extra clingy. While it might feel never-ending, most babies start to outgrow this phase by the time they’re 2 to 3 years old. But remember, even if it feels like you’re carrying a little koala 24/7, this stage is just that—a stage.
No two babies are the same, so the timeline for this clingy phase can vary widely. Some babies might start becoming more independent as they approach their first birthday, while others might need a bit more time and reassurance before they’re ready to let go.
My son was super independent but also crazy clingy. His independence didn’t make him less clingy. He is eight now, still loves a good cuddle, and checks in constantly. It’s perfectly okay if your baby clings to you a little longer—each child moves at their own pace, and there’s no rush. Although my son still checks in, he is independent, and we share a beautiful connection. So, there is a light at the end of the clingy tunnel!
4 Practical Tips for Managing a Clingy Baby
There is no quick fix for a Velcro baby, but there are some tips and tricks you can use to survive them!
1. Routine and Predictability
Babies thrive on routine, and a consistent daily schedule can go a long way in helping your clingy little one feel more secure. When they know what to expect—when it’s time for naps, meals, or play—they feel more in control, which can ease their need for constant reassurance. Try to stick to a predictable routine, especially during times of transition, like before naps or bedtime. This stability can give them the comfort of knowing you’ll be there, even if you’re not right by their side every second.
2. Comfort Objects
Introducing a comfort object, like a soft toy or blanket, can offer your baby a sense of security when you’re not immediately available. Some people don’t love the idea of their child being dependent on something for comfort, but it has been a game changer with both my kids. Having something to snuggle can help soothe their anxiety and give them a little extra courage to explore without clinging as much.
